This part continues with a scientifically based view of romance and the critical role it plays in generating feelings of desire. But you can become aware of the body-mind process that opens or closes you to sexual love. Inhibitory responses are minute muscle tensions that may be set off by a fleeting thought of self-doubt or a partner’s microsecond gesture that is reminiscent of parental disapproval. This reaction is body-based, and you can’t be talked out of it. The more the partners start to act like family with each other, the more likely there will be an automatic physiological tendency to cut off desire for him or her. But when you make a commitment, the beloved becomes family. I show how early childhood history with sexual feelings typically programs the brain and the nervous system to inhibit any arousal in the presence of family and to direct sexual interest toward strangers. Part I begins with an exploration of what I call the love-lust dilemma, the disappointing fact that due to our sexual programming, the commitment of love itself can undermine sexual desire. Your response has to do with whether or not you learned to separate emotional attachment from sex, how secure or insecure you feel, how you deal with stress in a relationship, how comfortable you are in your own body, how playful you are about anything, how well informed you are about sex, and how skillful you are as a lover. When we look deeper at the body’s response to love and sexual feelings, we find that things get a bit complicated. The book demonstrates clearly that what’s important is not just how well we communicate verbally but also what two bodies are saying to each other when they’re together, whether the message is mentally registered or not.
This is a detailed study of the many body-based factors that can affect a couple’s ability to enjoy loving sexual pleasure. This time we focus on enjoying a highly fulfilling, affectionate, sexy, and intimate love relationship. Here, once again, I take a body-mind approach to how pleasure can be a great teacher.
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In my last book, The Pleasure Zone: Why We Resist Good Feelings and How to Let Go and Be Happy, I showed how pleasurable experiences nurture us as individuals and help us to thrive in life. I also have you in mind whether you are a psychotherapist, sex therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, physician, bodyworker, health professional, teacher, or social worker-or any of the number of people who provide assistance to those seeking guidance or healing. This book, with its emphasis on the body and becoming more attuned to moment-to-moment experience, will complement your personal discovery and your growth as part of a couple. I have you in mind whether you have ever been in individual therapy or couples therapy.
This book will surprise you with new information to think about. I have you in mind whether or not you have ever seen a therapist or have ever considered it. This book has been written for all the men and women seeking to enjoy more emotionally fulfilling sexual pleasure with the ones they love. You'll discover: *A 10-Step Loving Sex Program with detailed methods for deepening the pleasures of emotional intimacy and broadening your erotic repertoire *The latest research in sexology, neuroscience, brain neuroplasticity, and the psychology of flourishing with practical applications for relationships *Real-life stories from the author's decades of work with clients and her own personal journey Read more Resnick’s revolutionary body-mind program will help you recognize limiting old patterns, learn valuable skills for enhancing romantic love and sexual aliveness, and tap into your natural capacity to enjoy emotionally fulfilling sexual pleasure. Resnick reveals how early programming can inhibit sexual desire as lovers become committed partners and begin to treat each other less like lovers and more like family. In a book that will challenge and forever change how you think about love and sex, clinical psychologist and sex therapist Stella Resnick, PhD, draws on the latest scientific research to explore the love-lust dilemma. How can you keep sexual desire alive over the long term? More and more people are finding it difficult to maintain a relationship that is both emotionally and sexually gratifying.
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